"Paranized"

That Keely always has something funny to say, but this has to be one of my favorites. She was telling me how Ty was worried that she had taken 2 quarters to school in her purse the other day and that he was "paranized".....AKA paranoid. I was laughing so hard and luckily Ty followed along with it and didn't start the fight over her saying the word wrong. This was just too cute not to share.

Keely's ARD was this past Wednesday. It was a little disheartening because you(I should say I) are always wanting them to say"well it is a miracle....everything that you are doing is working and she has finally snapped out of all of this." But that was not the case. I have to just be real about the situation and know that she is really not doing any better than she was 2 years ago, but not any worse so we can find comfort in that. Her test scores are as follows: in Math she is at a .7 which means she is in the 7 month of Kindergarten and in Reading she is at a 1.6 which means she is in the 6th month of the 1st grade. Now I know that she is really smart somewhere in there she has all of this knowledge that we have all taught her, but she can not recall any math facts and truly doesn't even know how to count to 100. Then with reading it is a true mystery to me how she is able to do that at all because she can not spell even the simplest of words. The seizures are like a cloud that covers a satellite signal, so she is unable to recall things that come so easy to the rest of us. With the Asperger's most children are able to function very well with their school work, but Keely doesn't have a very high IQ due to the epilepsy. Then of course you add ADD and Asthma on top of all of that and you have one heck of a problem.

We are truly at a loss as far as what to do for her....Do you just allow her to continue in the school district out here floating along, but also knowing that at least everyone knows her and what all that in tells(teachers, friends, etc....)??? Do you send her to another school district, where she knows no one??? Do we go ahead with our thoughts of homeschooling her, so that maybe I could give her some one on one time that she is not getting other wise??? It is so hard to know what to do for her and then you have the incredible burden of knowing that you have it all on your shoulders to do the "RIGHT thing for Keely."

One of the things I realized this week that I am truly grateful for is the fact that Keely is HAPPY....as happy as anyone else and has not had an ounce of knowledge that she should ever be disappointed or sad that she is not doing as well as some of her friends. And for that I am thankful beyond measure!
As I sit here tonight typing and crying, not because I want pity or whatever you want to call it, I realize how much that I really just want peace. I don't want anyone to ever think that I can't handle her and everything that comes along with being her mother. I just want peace that I am doing the right thing for Keely. I know that sometimes you just need to cry. And then there are times that you just want to SCREAM......"Is there anything I can do to make this all better?"

Keely is just Keely...she hasn't changed. She is still my baby girl that only wants me to make things better for her and trusts me to do everything for her. I pray that I am always able to be that person for her. The mom that God wants me to be. She has such a sweet spirit and is so kind that I hope that those qualities always shine.

Please pray for Peace and Knowledge for us.

I have put off blogging all week, because I didn't know what to say....Man, did I ever have a lot to say!